At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You ruined the universe
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
