I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
