do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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