Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
