handjob tips. give me some.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
