I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Fuck me I smell like cheese
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
