Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
