chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
