so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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