what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
