I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
