so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
