he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
