One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
