so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
