Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
