go do what you do best...puke behind churches
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize