Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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