Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.

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(248): View more from Michigan

my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'

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(734): View more from Michigan

He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.

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(720): View more from Colorado

He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues

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(205): View more from Alabama

And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.

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(810): View more from Michigan

If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!

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