I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
