We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
where are you?
Hypothermia
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize