In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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