it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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