I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
