Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
