I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
