That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I still have a little drunk in my system
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
