allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
MIDGETS
????
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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