WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
