you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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