I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
