From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize