dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
