I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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