He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
