I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
