You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
