bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
