you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
