Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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