I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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