i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
