How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
