It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
