I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Can you bring me the toilet please
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
