That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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