How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
