Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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