Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
