Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
