i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
