At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize