Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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