just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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