is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Can I color on your dick again?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
