you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i will never coherently bang her
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
