Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
