I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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