Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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