just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
