he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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