Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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