Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
