just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
