Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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