Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
