Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
