ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
