I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
