I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize