i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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