He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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