dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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