Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
