You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
