Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
