make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
