Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
