Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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