They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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