So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
